A GIRL who had her baby at 14, making her own mum one of the UK’s youngest grandmothers at 31, says she is proud to be a teen mum.
Jaymee Starr – who had daughter Harleigh just five month after her mum’s sixth baby was born – says having a baby so young means she can focus on her career and inspire other teens.
The schoolgirl, who had Harleigh in August 2013, found out she was pregnant when her 31-year-old mum, Tobii Rhea Starr, was expecting baby number six.
She said: “People would see me, a 14-year-old, and my gorgeous mum and assume we were sisters and pregnant.
“Mum became a gran of 1 and a mother of 6 at 31 and it made her proud to be a nanna so young.”
Now Jaymee wants to use her experience to inspire young girls not to give up if they fall pregnant but to put baby and school first.
Now back at school and studying business administration, as well as caring for her own baby and helping her mum with her sisters and brothers, she is determined to pay her way.
She said: “I know girls who get pregnant and live on benefits. Not me! My baby comes first then my education and my next step is University.
“Growing up I always knew my mum Tobii was younger than the other kid’s mums in my class. She had me when she was 16.
“She told me while I wasn’t planned I was her blessing. Mum’s had five other children since then and has always worked. Knowing she had me so young made me proud of the way she coped and raised us all.”
However, when Jaymee was 14 she missed three periods.
“I was scared and I confided in mum. She was eight months pregnant and she was there when I did the pregnancy tests which showed positive,” she remembered.
“I was shocked and in tears. I was living at home with mum and her new partner and I wanted to finish school, go to college or university and begin a career.”
Tobii, whose children are now 18, 16, 12,11, eight and three, added: “I asked her what she wanted to do because it was her body and her baby. I was shocked but I needed to show her support
The next day the pair visited the doctors. Jaymee learned she was over 16 weeks gone and her mother explained there was a real baby inside her with fingers and toes and arms.
She said: “I was clueless. I didn’t set out to get pregnant. It was an accident. I know many people will think ‘oh typical’ but I wasn’t in a serious relationship.
“I did consider a termination but after what mum told me because I couldn’t face it.”
Jaymee took inspiration from the way her mother coped after falling pregnant at 16 and vowed to stay in school and do her best.
She added: “I see mum looking after the children, working and even running a weight loss inspiration page on Facebook she inspires me and I want to inspire people like she does.”
Jaymee switched to the Whitmore Park Baby Unit, a special government-funded school annex which teaches pregnant girls and provides a crèche and baby carers for young mums.
At lunch time, the girls look after their babies.
It is one of only a handful of government run schools or annexes set up to help pregnant teens get an education and keep their babies.
While teen pregnancies are declining, the UK still has the highest rates of teenage births and abortions in Western Europe – five times those in the Netherlands, and double those in France and Germany.
Jaymee said: “I was so lucky to get a place at Whitmore without it and my mum’s help I don’t know what my life would be life.”
Jaymee and her mum started going to midwife appointments together.
The teenager constantly quizzed her mum on giving birth, how to properly care for a baby and what she needed to read up on.
“I had helped mum with my brothers and sisters but being a mum was overwhelming and mum kept reminding me life as I knew it was over, and that the baby and education were the only things that counted,” Jaymee explained.
Jaymee’s new brother Rylee was born in March 2013 by C-section, weighing a staggering 11 pounds.
She said: “Holding him for the first time made me realise what I was about to go through and as my pregnancy progressed Mum taught me how to change nappies, bottle feed my new brother and care for a new born. I needed that one on one instruction."
In August 2013, Tobii and her mum, 56-year-old Karin, held Jaymee’s hand while she gave birth naturally to her daughter making Tobii one of the UK’s youngest grandmothers.
Harleigh weighed 7lb 2oz and Jaymee says holding her child was the most thrilling thing she had ever done.
For the first couple of nights Tobii had Harleigh in her room so her daughter could get some sleep and then she taught Jaymee to bath, feed, walk and care for her daughter.
Jaymee was only off school for six weeks. She would push her baby buggy to school and leave her with the carers while she did her classes.
“Knowing Harleigh was literally in the next room made me more determined to study," she said.
"In six weeks I went from being a pregnant teen to a new mum, back at school with my baby back at my lessons determined not to let mum, my daughter or myself down.”
Jaymee got her GCSEs and joined a Business Administration course at college. True to her word, she has kept studying and caring for her daughter.
Harleigh and Rylee, five months apart, are growing up together and are more like brother and sister than uncle and niece. Jaymee cares for both the babies when Tobii works and rarely has time to go out, admitting she isn’t interested in parties.
She said: “I am in my final year of college and Harleigh is almost three. People are often shocked when they realise I am a mum and mum was a gran at 31 but I wouldn’t change a thing.
“Having Harleigh has made me grow up quickly and accept responsibility faster than most kids my age. I definitely wouldn’t change a thing.”
Jaymee says she hopes to either get a full-time job or go to university, and plans to give talks to teenagers about her life.
She said: “Yes, Mum had me as a teen and I had my daughter as a teen but both of us have made it a positive experience. I want to show people that teen mums can stay at school and raise their child. It’s hard but I won’t be criticised and I am going to make everyone proud.”
Tobii, now 33, said: “When I discovered my daughter was sexually active I talked to her about it and being careful.
“When I found out she was pregnant I did freak out. I didn’t want to lose her though and I knew she was scared much like I was.
“I was determined to support my daughter but ensure she continued with her studies. Being pregnant at the same time really helped. It made it less overwhelming for her and we went to scans and midwife sessions together.
“I am extremely proud of what she has done especially being back at school 6 weeks after having her daughter. I never thought I’d be a nanna at 31 but I am happy to be their Jaymee and my granddaughter is gorgeous.”
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