ONE of the more joyful elements of modern parenthood is a propensity to obsess over your progeny’s every move and murmur.
Mums and dads can continually assess their offspring against a collection of arbitrary, online, yardsticks.
The Wonder Weeks, Baby’s First Skills and a slew of development apps can help parents analyse their child’s every step, before discussing it in detail on a hundred internet forums. It’s no surprise many of us secretly wonder if our little miracle is ahead of the curve.
So is your child a genius? Here are five sure-fire signs he or she might be made for Mensa.
1. THEY NEVER SLEEP
What do Margaret Thatcher, Napoleon Bonaparte and Kevin Rudd and all have in common? No, it’s nothing to do with warmongering or being deposed by one’s own party. They all functioned on four hours sleep a night, or less.
A glut of chief executive officers, the occasional talk show host and numerous world leaders all claim to subsist on half the eight hours most of us need.
If your little one doesn’t sleep, they’re clearly destined for greatness. In fact, they’re probably plotting a brilliant but flawed invasion of Russia right now.
2. THEY HAVE A VORACIOUS APPETITE FOR BOOKS
There’s a growing body of research that connects reading with cognitive capabilities. One study even found a good novel could improve empathy.
A relentless appetite for literature has long been associated with intelligence. If you find your child lunging, arms out, towards the cover of any Eric Carle classic, you may have a baby bookworm on your hands. If tiny paws start ramming the reinforced cardboard into their mouths, he or she clearly has an appetite for literature. Parents will be left to wrestle the soggy, coloured mush from their child’s hands and try to palm them off with an organic rusk. This week it’s The Hungry Caterpillar, next it will beThe Art of War … in old Chinese.
Clever kids love to get lost in books. Picture: SuppliedSource:Supplied
3. THEY REFUSE TO EAT
This is not the sign of a difficult child. Instead your little bundle of joy just has discerning taste. Clearly born with a delicate palette, your role as parent is to stimulate and inspire an emerging culinary curiosity.
Who knows, you could have the next MasterChef on your hands.
Courgette gratin, chicken and butternut squash tagine and matzo brei are just some of the kid-friendly recipes you can whip up in your oodles of spare time. Start spending hours in the kitchen now and your offspring will probably have a best selling cookbook and a wholefood empire by the time they’re 10.
Disclaimer: Chefs may need a fulltime nanny to provide childcare while cooking.
4. THEY THROW FOOD AROUND IN AN ARTISTIC PATTERN
Have you ever been to an art gallery and thought: “Pah, my four-year-old could do this.”
Well, perhaps they already are. If your progeny is tossing pumpkin and spinach risotto across the kitchen with a Dali-esque flamboyance, it’s worth paying close attention. Next time your mini Monet plunges their fingers into whatever fabulous feast you have lovingly prepared, make sure you have a canvas ready and take it to the MCA.
Don’t say: “Modern art is rubbish.”
Do say: “Arabella’s had a stab at a Picasso using a plastic spoon and a packet of organic peach puree.”
5. THEY GET ANNOYED THAT THEY CAN’T MOVE
What were your high school nerds bad at? Sport.
What were they good at? Everything else.
Don’t worry if your baby is having trouble rolling, or standing or sitting; they’re clearly destined for mental greatness not physical. What clearer sign is there of a child whose brain development is ahead of the pack?
Flailing arms and crying at tummy time? The baby is gifted, in fact she’s probably not trying to crawl, already aiming higher, there’s no doubt your Baby Einstein is trying to fly.
So there you have it. If your little miracle is performing any one of these, distinctly average, traits, you may have a budding genius on your hands.
No comments:
Post a Comment