Let’s be honest, sometimes being pregnant really sucks

IN 10 days, I’m having a baby.

Its arrival will mark the end of the ultimate act of sharing. Pregnancy.

For some mothers-to-be, sharing their body, carrying a baby in their belly is perfection. But for many women, it’s a hard slog in more ways than one. A British survey has found almost a third of pregnant women suffer strong feelings of depression and anxiety.

Hallelujah. Someone said it.

Pregnancy has fallen victim to the idealised world of social media — just like everything else. My Instagram feed is peppered with sunset silhouettes of burgeoning bellies. Some months, it feels like Facebook is an album of baby showers with perfectly iced blue and pink cupcakes, calligraphy posters and bunting.

Pregnancy is a joyous time. It’s a miracle. But that doesn’t mean it feels like that all the time. Sometimes, being pregnant really sucks.

The physical changes are as wondrous as they can be daunting. Bigger boobs, a stretching tummy, unsettled nights, hip braces, morning sickness, reflux, puffiness and pigmentation.

And slowly a woman’s wardrobe goes from hero to zero. Bras become practical, only five T-shirts fit, bending over is a major … major … major … task. Last week, my cousin bought me a broom to sweep my kids’ toys into the corner of the lounge room, such was the effort to ‘pack away’. (Best idea ever).

It’s not popular to complain about pregnancy. But it should be.

Mums-to-be are suffering from classic signs of feeling anxious for no reason, losing interest in day-to-day activities and feeling so unhappy they cry but they won’t tell a soul. Not even their midwife.

In fact, the poll of 1000 mothers and pregnant women, from parenting website BabyCentre, found 42 per cent had never told their doctor or midwife about their symptoms of depression.

Why? They felt guilty. They felt embarrassed. They were worried others would judge them.

I’ve never heard a pregnant mother complain about her hormonal symptoms without adding some sort of disclaimer at the end of her tirade like, “but I shouldn’t complain. We’re so lucky. I’m so grateful I actually am pregnant”.

Sasha Miller, international managing editor of BabyCentre says “women feel under pressure to act like they are having a perfect pregnancy but the reality is very different for huge numbers of mums-to-be.

“There is still a stigma attached to depression and our research shows that admitting to suffering from symptoms while pregnant is something many expectant mums feel unable to do. As a result they aren’t seeking the help and support they need from health professionals. This needs to change.”

Indeed, it does.

Complaining about pregnancy shouldn’t be for the brave and ignorant. I’ll start.

I don’t really enjoy being pregnant. True. I’ve been sharing my body with a little human for nine long months, now. It’s been a joy, but I’m done.

Sometimes sweeping toys in to the corner of the room is a practical but depressing job. Sometimes dealing with a body that has changed so dramatically is a daunting day-to-day task. Sometimes hormonal changes are scarily beyond our control.

It can be frightening. It can be worrying. It can be confusing. It can be ugly. It can be upsetting.

Sometimes, we need to be honest.

Because the truth is … sometimes, pregnancy really sucks. And that’s okay.