7 ways to tell if you're good in bed

1. You feel connected to your partner

Research by sexologists seeking to answer the question, "What makes good sex?" has shown that the answer lies not in any particular technique but in two people feeling a sense of connection together. Good sex is not just a physical experience but rather one that emphasizes the core quality of it being a shared, meaningful experience. So to be good in bed, the very first step is to understand that dimension of connecting with your partner beyond the physical level. Couples who study tantric sex, karezza and other systems of mind-body-spirit sexual connection devote themselves to connecting beyond the physical. Many people are turning to trying it out and seeing the benefits in their relationship blossom.

2. You're confident

Other fundamental qualities that make you a great lover include being confident about yourself, having a positive body image, and feeling sexy. If you feel greater about your sexy self it not only enhances your physical libido, but it allows you to get lost in the sexual experience, become intensely immersed in it, and be swept away in the pleasure. This is a great lover, the one who isn't self conscious and detached from the experience.

3. You're open to change in the bedroom

A good lover uses their most important erotic organ which isn't the one between the legs, but the one between your ears. Using your brain for creativity, imagination and keeping an open mind for trying new things also will make you a good lover your whole life. Your body will change, your partners may change, your sexual response and health will change. So if you remain open to change in your sexual expression you'll be guaranteed to be a creative, dynamic lover.

4. You listen to your partner

Listening is a vital quality of being a good lover, as is being attentive, generous or at least unselfish. Sex is a shared experience, so paying attention to your partners needs, including as their desires change too is more important than anything other thing that you do between the sheets. Without good communication you can't possibly be a great lover

5. You don't rush things

Like with most things in life, it you pay attention to detail, and take your time, the result will be far superior than if you rush around blindly. While you wouldn't think it, being thorough is a definitely quality of a master class lover. See things through from start to finish, if you catch my drift.

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6. You welcome the opportunity to have sex

A good balance between spontaneity and just doing it is important! Don't forget the plain mathematics of good sex: saying yes more than no. Being approachable by your partner, initiating nookie yourself, and being eager more often than refusing is a pretty simple but often overlooked quality of being great sexually.

7. You're playful in bed

Sex is our adult recreation - not just procreation. This is your adult playtime to feel good with each other and enjoy every bit of one another. It doesn't have to be serious or harried (sometimes that's okay too). If you want to be good in bed, be playful - show your enjoyment!